How to Get Along With Others – Your Elemental Personality Holds The Clues
Some of the statistics from the United States are really startling: people file about 40 million lawsuits in a year. It is well known that the divorce rate in this country is 50%. The number of millennials in relationship counseling is through the roof. Clearly, there are many of us who are simply not getting along! Why is there so much disagreement, misunderstanding, and conflict in families, at the workplace, and in most interpersonal interactions? Dr. Vicki Matthews, who is a relationship coach, and also an author and naturopathic physician, has made it her mission to help people get along.
The five elements of relationships.
Dr. Matthews has studied medicine, psychology, and also the Chinese healing system including the Five Elements system about relationships. This system identifies five main personality types based on five elements: water, wood, fire, earth, and metal. Each of us can be identified as being governed by one or other of these elements. This is not to say that we conform to only one element; just that one element is dominant in us. Identifying and understanding these dominant elements in each of us is the key to happy, peaceful, and fulfilling relationships and Dr. Matthews has helped thousands do this.
We spoke recently when Dr. Matthews was a guest on The Adiel Gorel Show, and she narrated a personal incident to illustrate how this system works. When she and her husband married right after graduating college, a road trip through the Mojave Desert made her question her decisions. She questioned whether the man she loved so much was right for her. This was when she started to study the five-element model and realized how she and her husband look at life via different filters. She realized that it was this very difference that balances the relationship. When we have this insight and understanding of the other person, the relationship flourishes. It deepens.
Water, wood, fire, earth, metal.
Each of us has a certain tendency; our instinctive nature makes us think and behave in certain ways.
Water people are big thinkers. They are creative and are likely to be painters, writers, and so on; happy to be in their own world. Water people relate to winter.
Wood people are energetic, industrious, and like to get things done – they are growth oriented much like spring bursting into bloom.
Fire people correspond to summer. They are gregarious and sociable. They like to connect with people and have fun.
Metal people correspond to the autumn season. They are methodical, analytical, and reliable.
Earth people are all about balance, caring, and nurturing. They are the homemakers, the chefs, and the nurses.
Dr. Matthew speaks of her husband as a metal person – someone who is detail oriented and has respect for rules and protocol. He tempers her. He helps to curb her impetuosity and encourages her to plan a little. There are several other stories that Dr. Matthew shares about warring siblings and about a father disappointed in his son and more. What all these stories do is illustrate how we can work through even the seemingly intractable issues in relationships. Don’t miss this episode – after all we can all benefit from getting along with each other.
