How to Enrich Your Interpersonal Relationships – It Is Easier Than You Think
Did you know, our relationships are one of the most accurate predictors of our health and well-being? And yet we see so much strife around us: in the home, the workplace, the neighborhood, in court! Why do we react so poorly to some people and why do seemingly great relationships deteriorate over time? Can we improve our relationships, and hence our health and well-being? These are some of the questions Dr. Vicki Matthews has spent years answering and helping others answer.
What element are you?
Based on the Five Element model, we can all conclude that we are one or other type of personality: water, wood, fire, metal, and earth. One personality element is dominant while others may be present without being dominant. These elements determine our thoughts, impulses, nature, and the way we react to others. One of the questions I asked Dr. Matthews was about Steve Jobs, and she identified him as a water personality: someone who could envision the future, create a team, and make things happen. Even though he wasn’t an IT guy in the strict sense of the term, he still had the personality to be able to achieve what he did.
We face conflict not just in our family and our intimate relationships, but in our social and professional interactions as well. There could be someone at work that we simply cannot stand or a boss that may seem quite insufferable. Once we understand the elemental nature of a person, we understand why they do and say what they do. This understanding brings us a step closer to improving that relationship. If you would like to know what element your personality corresponds to, you can visit drvickimatthews.com and take the Five Elements Personality Quiz. You could also check out her book, The Five Elements Of Relationships – How to Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, and Anyplace to understand more about how to work on relationships.
Understanding conflict.
Sometimes people tend to be negative; shooting down what seems to be a good idea and negating suggestions. There could be disagreements in the home or workplace, and it becomes difficult to work or even live with a person. Dr. Matthews explains why this can happen when dominant elements of people clash with each other. Maybe there is metal cutting wood in one instance. Or there could be an earth mother simply not able to understand why her fire daughter enjoys none of the things she does.
One instance is that of a family that Dr. Matthews worked with, where a fire element girl finds herself at odds with a family that is largely wood. While the family saw the girl as the ‘problem’ Dr. Matthews worked with the whole family dynamic to bring each individual to see the value of the other. While the girl benefited from the wood energy of her family, the family started to see the joy of her fire element. It ended up being a very positive experience for the family.
Maybe in this age of swiping left and right to choose a partner, we have become impatient and unwilling to do the work to create and nurture loving relationships. Maybe this is something we all need to work harder on. To know more about Dr. Vicki Matthews’ work and about creating beautiful, peaceful relationships, join us in this episode of The Adiel Gorel Show.
